Learning To Live Again: Beyond Infidelity
I never suspected infidelity; you most likely saw no signs either. Now those signs are embedded in my brain, since the affair hurt so bad. Unfortunately, I know the steps to take when cheated on. Hopefully, I will never use them.
For all of you out there who are wondering what to do if hurt by infidelity, I’m going to give you the advice that I have gathered during my ordeal. This advice comes from a number of wonderful aunties, grandmas, sister, and friends. It turns out, many of us have been hurt by an affair.
Back in my grandmaas day, she said it was almost expected of a man, but never talked about. She encouraged me to delve into something I love doing to help my soul find peace. I needed to come to terms with what had happened.
On the other hand, in my auntas time the study of psychology was the answer for everything. She suggested tracking down a reputable psychologist and let the pain go there. She said I need to let it go internally.
Then of course, my sister had a more physical approach, no not beating my husband or the aproblema, as she called him. Instead, she suggested I yell, hit something soft and just release it all, including letting my spouse go.
From friends I got the most imaginative, outlandish advice and the soundest. One suggested moving to a French villa. Another reminded me it was not my fault, but my husbandas own issues. I was still beautiful and worth a lot more.
I listened to my old friend and then I went and sat looking in the mirror. I found no evidence of fault there. I found no guilt. What I saw was just a lot of pain and sadness, a deep hurt that the one I trusted had caused, and only I could release.
After hearing everyoneas advice I got to work doing things for me. I spent time working on hobbies I loved, enjoying myself. I took my aunts advice and spoke to a therapist also. I would beat on things and yell when I was overwhelmed, but I would also remember to stop in front of the mirror and enjoy who I am and how far I had come.
