How to Have a Happy Life

Most people. at least in the West, confuse happiness with things. That is they think that to be happy they must acquire a certain level of financial success, obtain material possessions, keep up with the next door neighbors, have power and influence over others, and to be admired by their peers.

For most people nothing could be further from the truth. Psychologists now know what makes people happy. The happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities and, most importantly, forgive easily if not forget.

One of the most important things to consider in your pursuit of happiness is to recognize that the way people will feel about you is largely determined by how you make them feel. If you make people feel good about themselves and appreciated they are likely to remember you kindly and wish to see more of you. By making others feel good and happy the strong likelihood is that you yourself will be happy.

Conversely, if you make people feel scared, uncomfortable, or tense they will likely want to stay away from you as far as possible. Odds are you will turn out to be a very unhappy and lonely person even if you are in a position of power and influence.

People often confuse success in the sense of becoming wealthy or famous, or both, having a big house, a fancy car, a luxurious lifestyle, as an indicator of happiness. The often mistaken notion is that when I am rich and can live pretty much as I please I will be happy.

When setting goals most people will set a goal of having a million dollars in the bank, of having a new big house within a year or two, of vacationing in an exotic location, or riding around in the latest hot SUV as a worthwhile goal. Very few people will set the goal of being happy starting right now. This is a mistake.

In the end, to be happy as you can possibly be every day is the only goal that really matters. We can only live our lives in the present. The past is only a memory, and an imperfect one at that. Memories can fade, disappear, and be altered with the passage of time.

And the future. It seldom is what we expect it to be and may not exist for us at all. Each minute we are alive could be, and some day will be, our last. When you live each day to be happy the future will somehow take care of itself. As the future is only an exercise in imagination, which often enough turns out to be completely erroneous, it is just as well.

The present is the only time that really matters. The best way to maximize the present and to be happy is to make others happy. Give it a try and see for yourself. Be happy. It is a much better human condition than being rich in the material sense.

However, a word of warning. Don’t be surprised if by being happy you also become well off financially and emotionally. When you have a habit of making other people feel good about themselves good things usually begin to mysteriously happen to you.

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